I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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