is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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