Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
