I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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