me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
