I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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