I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
