I didn't shave. On purpose
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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