I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
