They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
