so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
