I'm going to jail i love you
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
