We're facebook friends in real life
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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