I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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