Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
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highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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