Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
