allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
