you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
