We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
