You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
