my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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