My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
