Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
