stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
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You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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