I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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