Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
