Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
