He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
