What did we do last night that was yellow?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
