Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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