I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize