i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
