you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
