out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
