Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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