Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
