Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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