i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
