I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
