Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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