I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
