I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I die, sorry about rent.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
