I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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