I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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