She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
