Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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