it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
