i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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