Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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