i may or may not be watching the land before time
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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