No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
