Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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