Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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