It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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