Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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