he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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