youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
