Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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