And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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