He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
