It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
