I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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