Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i think i just naturally attract stoners
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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