Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I need water and some morals
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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